Blog 23/50. You know what really grinds my gears?


This will just be a summary of silly things that annoy me. I fully recognize that it is completely irrational to feel as annoyed about these things as I do. I am who I am. I’m just going to lean into it.

This one, you’ve likely heard me talk about. It’s the rules on The Price is Right. The first one is obvious. The “over-bidding” rule. WHYYYYYYYYYY??? Seriously, if I go over by a SINGLE DOLLAR and some other Noob-tastic Jabroni bids $1, they win??? You are not doing what the show was clearly originally intended to do, which was to test the skill of the contestants at guessing prices of a wide variety of products. YOU ARE REWARDING COWARDICE. Secondly, when it’s time to spin the wheel and see who goes to the showcase showdown, if the first two people’s spins put them over the $1 limit, the third person automatically moves on. Huh?? They did nothing and they get to move on to the biggest part of the show? Why not have everyone take one spin. Then whoever has the highest spin goes last. The other two try to beat their score without going over $1. If somebody beats it, that last spinner gets a chance to spin a second time and reclaim the lead. Simple.

When you’re driving on a road where the lane shifts, the person who keeps driving straight and doesn’t signal. Anybody remember when you’re supposed to use your turn signal? Changing lanes was definitely one of those time. Anybody know what happens when you drive straight as the lanes shift? Yeah. You change lanes. Use. The. Signal.

While I’m on the topic of driving (I could probably do a whole post about just this), people who pull through to other side parking space in a lot with diagonal spaces. You are the worst. You have just taken a healthy dump on the whole purpose of the way these lots are set up! The lanes are one-way so you can have an easier time pulling in and out of your space. You don’t have to worry about traffic coming from both directions, just the one. That is, unless some inconsiderate Noob-tastic Jabroni (yeah, I’m gonna keep using that) pulls through to the wrong side. What are you going to do now?? Your only option is to pull out forward and go the wrong way, inconveniencing everyone else or making a turn to go the right way that is impossible for any car except a Mini Cooper.

Wind. I hate wind.

People who leave open, yet untouched candy in Target for people like me to just have to walk by and not eat it. You’ve just introduced an unnecessary dilemma in my life. Yes, of course, I’d love to thank you for leaving me such a great gift. But people are very judgy when you eat already-opened Target candy.

Almost every single person buying a house on HGTV. Yeah, we get it. We all want granite counters, tile backsplashes, and an open floor plan. Don’t ask me why, but the most annoying part is when they all say (and they ALL say this) “I can really picture entertaining in here!” Oh really? Entertaining? You mean you can picture people standing around talking and eating in a space that was built specifically for people to stand around and talk and eat?? Nobody ever walks into the bedroom and says “Oh wow, I can really picture us sleeping in here.” Get outta town.

People who say “hot water heater”. If the water was hot, you wouldn’t need to heat it. You’re literally taking extra time to say extra words that make less sense.

People who mow their lawns by going around the perimeter and just continuing to make smaller and smaller laps around until they reach the center. Not only are you probably continuiously mowing over the clippings that you just created but your yard looks like trash! And you know what you look like? Yeah. You guessed it. A FREAKING NOOB-TASTIC JABRONI! Everyone who takes even a lick of pride in mowing their yard knows that it’s two or three laps around the perimeter and then you pick a direction and you go in straight lines back and forth until you’ve covered it and make sure you pick a different direction than last week. Come on.

Skim Milk.

author: Jacob Watts


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